


stains

by internetpunk



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bipolar Disorder, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, aka me projecting on connor (again) lmaooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-23 22:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12518176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/internetpunk/pseuds/internetpunk
Summary: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯





	stains

**Author's Note:**

> was gonna edit this more but idk what to add so uhhh here it is !

Everything is beautiful.

It’s a cold day but they decide to head to the store and buy some popsicles, because why not. They’re all laughs and joking, and Connor feels everyone envy him, how much fun they’re having, how amazing his boyfriend is. His boyfriend is so perfect. He does all he can to make Evan laugh, disregards everyone else, the looks he’s getting. He’s just happy to see Evan happy. They check out and head to the park.

They can see their own breath and it’s starting to get dark out.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea,” Evan says, and Connor laughs.

“What makes you say that?” He smirks. He looks at Evan like he’s his whole world,  _ because he is _ , enchanted by how the cherry dye stained his lips.  _ Kiss him _ , he thinks, and he does. It’s chilling at first (for obvious reasons), then warm and nice and lovely. Evan hums happily against his lips and Connor feels like the luckiest guy on Earth, feels his stomach flip and his heart tie in knots. Connor pulls away and they start to wander around the park, hand in hand, admiring the way the moonlight and streetlights illuminate everything. Connor runs ahead every once in awhile, excited to just be alive and with Evan. It’s wonderful.

They make their way back to the car, Evan calm and content, Connor buzzing. Connor hops in the passenger seat and puts his feet up on the dash.

“Get your feet off, this is my mom’s car,” Evan laughs.

“Make me,” Connor teases.

“Seriously, take them off.” Connor looks a bit irritated but does as he’s told. They start driving and he rolls his window down, reaching his arm out to feel the rush of air blow against it. It’s not enough though, not with his hoodie on, so he takes it off. Evan glances over at him and pulls over.

“Are you okay?” Evan asks, the worry in his eyes telling Connor he fucked up.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He shoots back, knowing full well why Evan is asking. He can see Evan looking for the right words to say and adds, “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“You know it isn’t. Do your parents know-”

“My parents don’t give a shit about me! It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters! Just because your parents don’t seem to care doesn’t mean it’s not important.”

“They don’t  _ seem _ not to care, they just don’t care. Maybe you don’t get it since your parents at least try for you.” Connor takes a moment to realize what he’s just said. “Your mom I mean.” Another pause. “Sorry.”

“Whatever. Forget them,  _ I  _ care about you. Please talk to me.”

“No.”

“Connor…”

“Fine. I’m tired of hurting you by saying awful, mean things and worrying you by doing stupid shit like this,” he gestures to his arms, “and you forgiving me when you don’t have to do that. I can’t get help so I don’t see anything changing anytime soon. This is what you’re in for, are you really okay with that?” He had raised his voice a while ago and nearly shrieks his last sentence, tears welling up in his eyes. He rubs them away furiously. “Fuck this.” He mumbles. Evan looks at him with what he sees as pity.

“I’m worried because I love you. And I understand you can’t always help what you say. I get that.”

“That doesn’t make it okay though. Shit, I’m so sorry Evan. We were having a great night and I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. We’ve still got plenty of time.” Connor looks to the clock. 11:32. He smiles. “Let’s just drive around, play some of our favorite songs. It’ll be nice.”

“You’re a real amazing boyfriend, you know that?”

“You are too. I hope you realize that soon.” Evan leans over and kisses his cheek, and away they go.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it i'm gonna go punch myself in the face now ! ! !


End file.
